08 November 2009

how i feel today.

it's not so much that i believe unconditional love is something that can be grasped or attained or even sought after by human means - hell, maybe not even by a higher power or nonhuman standard - but moreso, it's that i truly believe with every fiber of my being that the love i've seen displayed most in my life is severely lacking.

i dont say that to be pompous and cynical.

and really, it's not some deep, philosophical concept. although it is something i ache for deeply and fight for hopefully.

and maybe unconditional love is the wrong name to brand it with. maybe that title cheapens everything that swarms through my thoughts as i consider caring for another without ill-assumptions or suspicious intent.

of course that's not the whole of it. god, no. i suppose i cant even begin to explore every piece to this puzzle, because, really, will i ever know when it's complete? should i? i dont think i should. and even if i should, i dont think i'd want to.

at least that's how i feel today.

1 comment:

Evan said...

Hi Deahna,

Your last paragraph is profound. I think it's the incompleteness of these things that makes them so captivating, so worth chasing. And I suspect that the fear and uncertainty that (at times) accompanies this incompleteness lends to how dynamic love is, and ought to be.

Your chop struck me flush, just thought you should know.