standards of consistency

sometimes i wonder if the notions, the people, the characteristics and personalities that i despise in life are rooted in things i recognize and dislike about myself.

i can be so quick to expect actions or even restraint from others without any thought or understanding of how to display a mutual reasoning.

i dont want to be a representation of a double standard or empty values. i ache to see love in its fullest form, but i wonder if i'm doing all i can to be love...or am i just making a mockery along with all the others? i thrive on positivity and joy; however, my thoughts are vile, my assumptions ruthless. i cringe with everything in me when unfair judgement is passed, but what in my life is any better than those condescending gazes that i loathe?