where you'll be

you'll occupy my prayers,
but you wont be in my life.
you'll occur in my thoughts,
but you wont be in my life.
you'll burden my heart,
but you wont be in my life.
you'll creep into my memories,
but you wont be in my life.

you'll move forward with your life
as i move forward with my own.
you may have a permanent attitude
of bitterness and hatred towards me,
but i towards you will only think
with a heaviness and a hope
for success and fulfilled potential.

porcelain vs poison

dear porcelain,
come to me with poison
that i may taste of the forbidden nectar
my flesh craves.

dear porcelain,
you'll crumble beneath my grip,
for i seem only to grasp at death
destroying everything in my wake.

dear porcelain,
your beauty and worth are undeniable.
i ache to look away.
your flawlessness is my forever foe.

dear porcelain,
you are complete,
but me, i am undone.
i long to keep you as you are -
a treasure, rare to be found.

and now, dear porcelain,
i must place you on my shelf
to be seen and wondered at.
but i will look away
my addiction creeping in

because it is poison
for which i crave.